Jun 4, 2009

 

I'm officially old and perhaps a little wiser. This is my last full day here in Cancun and looking forward to sleeping in my own bed soon. I've learned many valuable lessons during my week of vacation. I found out that 30 spf doesn't prevent burns to my pasty white skin. Girls actually do go wild here. Mayan people are very short and have large heads. Chichen-Itza is awesome and it's also incredibly hot there. Everyone wants to sell you something everywhere. People here are very nice and try hard to communicate with stupid Americans, which is the complete opposite of Americans. I've been called: Shaggy, Pepper, A Mexican and Mr. Whiskers by the locals. I remember most of my 30th b-day which I can elaborate on for those that are interested. There's good tequila and bad tequila. My milky white thighs are a little less milky and the skin is peeling off my back. My Spanish is a little less crappy, but still crappy. Before my next visit I'll try harder to remedy this. I hope this message finds everyone doing well and I look forward to seeing you all soon.

posted by jeremy 12:08:00 PM  4 comments

May 29, 2009

 

Hola, mi amigos. This is my first post from gorgeous Cancun, Mexico. I don't really know if it's gorgeous or not because it's still dark, but I'm assuming it's gorgeous. The room we're staying in is incredible, and the sea bass I just ate was equally awesome. Kristy is tired from her margarita so I need to go now. Hasta luego muchachos.

posted by jeremy 9:23:00 PM  2 comments

Mar 29, 2009

 

A AWESOME BLOG

I was driving on the freeway a few days ago when I came upon a truck with a business name on the door that caught my attention; "A American Dream Landscaping". I thought perhaps the "n" had fallen off, but upon closer inspection (as I paced the truck staring at this curiosity) there was no such space available. When I got home I went straight to the internet to do some "research", there had to be a good explanation for this. Perhaps "An American Dream Landscape", "American Dream Landscape", "A Really Bad American Dream Landscape" or all business names using proper English were taken. I went to the Oregon Business Registry and found the sad truth. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! How is this possible? How many people must have seen this name before it became official? Friends, family, people processing the application; not one person suggests an alternative? I have a American dream, if you're business name isn't in a proper form of it's language you can't register it. Have a awesome day.

posted by jeremy 7:18:00 PM  5 comments

Mar 18, 2009

 

I've decided to make some changes in my life and give myself another ridiculous goal to shoot for. As of 3/16/09 I won't be eating any ice cream or soda pop for at least 3 months. During this 3 month period I'll be training to be in the best shape of my life using a program called P90X. I'll be taking some before and after pictures to document my progress. My love for ice cream has been well documented and has become a regular part of my life (perhaps what took out my gallbladder). Instead of dying from a heart attack at a young age I'd rather live to be a crazy old man that yells at kids from my front porch, pretends not to hear my wife, wears velcro shoes, shops at Bimart and eats Wurther's Originals. Wish me luck, I'm going to need it.

posted by jeremy 10:37:00 PM  4 comments

Mar 16, 2009

 

This weekend I drove Kristy to Seattle for a workshop about the business side of art stuff. It was great except I was by myself during the day without a car in a part of Seattle I'm not familiar with. Fortunately I brought my Xbox with me to pass away the time, the part that sucks is, I get hungry.... After about 8 hours of gaming my banana had worn off and I needed some food so I put on my jacket and headed out. The first place I came to was a fancy bar & grill on the waterfront, the cheapest thing on the menu was $12, that's not happening. I carried on past a few more swanky places until I got to a Red Robin, the familiar scent of endless steak fries filled my senses and I decided it was my best bet. I walked in and was greeted by the hostess. "What do you need?" she asks as if I'm lost or possibly homeless. "I'm hungry and you serve food here right?" I respond, slightly perturbed. I'm seated at a booth right next to the entrance with my head up against the balloons they hand out to the kiddies. I promptly switch seats and begin noticing people talking about the loner at the booth with the balloons. After looking around I realize that Red Robin isn't the best place to eat a meal by yourself. I get my food, sit through a couple crappy birthday songs and more uncomfortable glances. I would have told them it was my birthday if I hadn't already ordered a milkshake and a lot of steak fries. To spite them I'm tinkering with the idea of creating a restaurant for loners and recluses.

posted by jeremy 8:49:00 PM  3 comments

Mar 8, 2009

 

I admit, I suck at updating, which brings me to something I've been thinking about lately. I feel that all people are equal and the only thing that sets them apart from one another is the amount of drive, determination and purpose to achieve something greater.

Everyone is born with a certain amount of natural ability and a set of physical characteristics. It's generally accepted that some of our greatest minds are not attractive people and vice versa which leads me to believe that people generally take the path of least resistance. If you're born a good looking individual, you can go a long way with just your looks. If you can't rely on your looks, the easiest path through life may be to use your brain to open doors through humor or the specialization of a certain skill. Over the course of your life you may try various paths but generally I believe people stick with what works. This of course is an overly simplified example, but could also be broken down into individual skills/traits such as comedic timing, cookie baking, blog updating, fashion sense, sexy walking, public speaking, foreign languages spoken, perfect feet, psychic ability, sending thank you cards, having a huge penis, being organized, ect. If you were able to document and rank these skills (mental, physical & spiritual) I feel that most people would have about the same level of overall skill.

What makes people great is when they have the drive to hone skills they naturally possess or develop skills in areas they are weakest. I don't think this is possible without a greater life purpose, which would vary by individual.

I'll give a made-up example of my hypothesis:

12 year old boy with 2 heads- Everyone thinks this kid is a freak because of his physical appearance. He's forced to outwit and insult the kids that make fun of him and comes up with an idea to grill things while knocking out the fat during one of his many lonely nights at home. He sells his idea to George Foreman and retires at the age of 21.

posted by jeremy 12:14:00 PM  2 comments

Dec 21, 2008

 

ARCTIGEDDON 2008

It's Arctigeddon 2008 here in Portland this week, bringing a plethora of snow/wind/freezing rain to the city. Usually I'd be content in the basement playing video games and dorking out on my computer but I really wanted to eat tacos tonight. I spent a good 45 minutes de-icing my car and digging out the snow around it. My car was unable to move without chains so I busted out my brand new Les Schwab chains (that I stood an hour in line to purchase) and slapped those puppies on. Then I was off kicking ass to Fred Meyer's to get me some tortillas. I put the ol' Golf into a snow bank in the parking lot for safe keeping, my brother stayed in the car to defrost his frostbitten toes while my beautiful wife and I ran inside to retrieve the fruit of the gods (tortillas). Those were the best tacos I've ever had. Tonight we made our way to the library to wait for rescue. We're currently collecting books from Oprah's book club that are good for burning in an attempt to stay warm, Kristy has an infected cut that needs medicine. My brother told me about a ship that ran aground not far from here that has the medicine we need. I hope there aren't any viscious wolves aboot like the one pictured above. Wish us luck, we're going to need it.

posted by jeremy 8:06:00 PM  5 comments

Nov 2, 2008

 

I did some much needed updating to my website this evening. The highlights are as follows:

• a functioning links page (let me know if I'm missing someone)
• a music page that serves a purpose.
• a new intro photo of my awesome dog Tank.

I'd like to give a shout out to Paul, Sam & Jev for having an awesome Halloween Party at their place in Eugene. I thoroughly enjoyed it despite sucking badly at beer pong.

PS. The officially unofficial band name - Before Stereo

posted by jeremy 1:07:00 AM  10 comments

Oct 15, 2008

 

I NEED A BAND NAME!!!

Ian Mouser and I are forming a band, a serious band that plays serious songs about serious topics. We thought about playing these songs under The Bumblebees name but it just didn't seem right. This is where we could use your help. We're meeting this Friday to pick a band name and I'm trying to track down all the possible options. If the name we pick is a name you created you'll be entitled to free merchandise and show tickets and the right to say you made the band, name. So send any possible names this way, here's a few we've come up with so far.

- Little Green Robots
- Bear Jerky
- Serious Music Project
- Benefit For Rudy
- UniZues

Bring the goods, thank you.

posted by jeremy 9:07:00 PM  8 comments

Oct 9, 2008

 

I had an amazing dream last week and I wanted to record it in some fashion before it was forgotten. Here goes:

I was in a large factory full of immaculately maintained silver machinery, seeming to be alone I snuck into a small room using a key I'd found outside the door. Inside the room I found what looked to be a large silver oven with intricate designs covering the outside door. I was in the process of opening said oven when I heard something in the distance. Through the glass window of the door I could see my Dad walking towards the room. For some reason I felt like I shouldn't have been in the room, this combined with my lack of hand-eye coordination led to me fumbling the key hot potato style in an attempt to put it back where I'd found it. At the same moment I got the key back to it's appropriate cubby hole my Dad showed up and said "I've got something important to show you." He turned and started walking away swiftly. I eagerly followed close behind as we wound through the factory and into a larger room full of conveyor belts and workers sorting thousands of small boxes. My Dad turned to me and said "These are the greatest!", referring to none other than Quaker Chewy Dipp Granola Bars. He handed me a coupon for $1.50 off if I bought 2 boxes. I appreciated the gesture.

After I recieved my coupon we warped to the dining room of the Lake house where my Dad and my Grandpa were sitting at the table, I was standing about 10 feet away in the kitchen and an unidentified shadow man with a top hat was standing between us and off to one side. This is where it gets a little crazy. My Grandpa "says" to me "We wanted to show you something." I noticed something was a little strange because I heard my Grandpa's voice but his mouth never moved. The communication was channeling through my mind, no physical movements necessary. I must have caught on because I was able to respond in the same manner, "ok." My Grandpa then sends me, "This is how we talk to dead people or those that are on there way out." My Dad seemed to be communicating with the shadow man as if to give me a working example. I don't think I knew the shadow guy, but I got the feeling he wasn't fully out of this world yet. I got an overall feeling of peace and calmness.

Next I warped to a gravel road with my Dad walking at my side. I asked him, "Why are you here?" He responded, "You're sad that I'm gone and you wanted to ask me some questions."

He was right, I am sad that he's gone and I've got countless questions I wish I could ask him. I'll still ask, knowing that it may be awhile before he gets back to me. In any case, thanks for the dream, it was pretty cool, and say hi to all the relatives for me.

posted by jeremy 10:01:00 PM  5 comments